My Immortal
by Majorelle
Summary: —SoulSilvershipping One-shot. (maycontestdrew, PrincessLightWarrior1, L. X. ie, and anyone else who I have not responded to—please read)


_My Immortal_

It was hot, yet his feet were cold. He awoke with unwanted and slightly frightening anxiety. He took large pants, his cheeks flushed, and a single drop of sweat perspired from his temple. His head turned to look on the left side of 'his' king sized bed. The left side had looked as though it was occupied every night and had a feminine scent to it.

This red-head almost broke into tears, realizing his nightmare had come true. Shivers went down his spine, he was still frozen and numb. Still shocked, he supposed.

Gone.

That was what he felt inside his heart. This was the feeling of abandonment or desertion. How could this have happened? Gone forever, and lost within his heart. He could not believe it at all. After so many years…so many years, after all that they went through — _together. _

He knew he needed to be by himself, but to imagine that it would hurt this much, so much that he needed her when he cried. But she would never know how much he truly needed her. That her smile, her laugh, and her words…they made his day, and helped him get through the day. He laid there in bed for hours. He couldn't leave the bed…everything he did — it reminded him of her. One second, two seconds, three seconds…it didn't matter, each second was his thoughts of her. He knew they were made of each other, so why did this happen? He would give his heart and soul for her. Breathing without her was a problem.

They were there for each other. She may have been gone, but her presence haunted him. It was like, she was there but she wasn't. He couldn't feel or touch her, but for some reason memories of her lingered throughout the house and room. He held her hand through all the years, she held his in those hard times. How long had it been? This pain was too real and it felt as though it was going to last forever. Even though she was gone, and her 'presence' still seemed to roam around the area, he would still give all of himself to her, actually, she did have all of him. She took his heart when she left, thus leaving this feeling of desertion in his heart.

He would wipe away her tears when she cried, and fight her worst fears for her. Was this not the most love he could give? He hoped that she felt it all before she set off. He looked at his nightstand while sitting up from the bed. There…there was this photo frame. This portrait was of him and _her. _Her beautiful perky smile with her arm clinging around his own, in which he wore a cold complexion. He looked closer in the portrait, noticing her left ring finger. They weren't married then…it was so long ago when that picture was photographed. The red head looked at his own left hand, staring at the pure silver band, remembering how when she left she wasn't wearing hers. The young man took off the ring and looked at the inner part of the circle. His wife had engraved special words on it before they were wed. He almost broke into tears as his vision blurred reading the words.

_"Hehee, it's a handsome silver, like you! Love Lyra" _

"Damnit…" he whispered, gritting his teeth. His fingers clawed into his pant thighs and his head hung down as the water dropped from his eyes. His shoulders quivered in a rigid manner. He stood up from the bed and made his way to the closet. There, he opened it and the scent of his wife was strong. This whole closet was full of her clothes. But at the end of the small area, on the floor underneath from coats was a navy blue box. He removed the lid from it, and found his wife's old teenage hat. He picked it up. Silver always wondered why she wore such a large and puffy hat, and to this day, she never told him why. He hugged it as more tears streamed down.

Then, standing up, he grabbed all of his wife's clothes and headed out to the backyard. After so long, he still could not believe she was gone, and now was going to be the time for 'closure'. He would never forget her, but this needed to go. All of her things needed to go. She caused him so much pain. He just stood there as she left. Silver counted each step she took and watched her fade. He _watched _it happen. He could have prevented it, yet she said did it to save him.

As he made it to the backyard, he put all of her things into a pile. Grabbing a red canister with a yellow nozzle, he poured gasoline all over the belongings. Lighting a match, he threw it into the pile, setting off a large fire. But in his left hand, there was one thing he refused to burn. Her hat. The flames blazing, he stared at them with watering and regretful eyes while clenching her hat.

_"And don't worry…" she said. _

_She would have never known how much he loved her. How stupid for him to let her go like that. He knew what was going to happen to her. They would — they would do __**things **__to her, and then… she would be… Yet, he let it happen. She did it for him. It was all his fault. He couldn't speak when he wanted to. She wouldn't let him. There was so much he wanted to tell her. But that never happened. _

All he ever felt, now, was regret, pain, and anxiety, and that's all he would feel forever. Her presence, smile, eyes, scent — would haunt him forever. And that's because…

When she left…his heart was buried with her. When she left…his happiness was never to return. When she left…the smile that _only_ Lyracould make on his lips never became again. And when she left…

He died inside.

* * *

**A/N: **So… there's a few of you who I am not responding to in PMs and emails. Especially PrincessLightWarrior1, L. X. ie, and maycontestdrew. And…there's a reason for that. There's a reason for this raw angst fic as well. This fic was inspired by my brother, who is one person that is near and dear to my shattered heart.

Last year, February 2012, his girlfriend who he had dated for 6 years (and had become close to our family, she came with us on family vacations, celebrated holidays and birthdays, etc) cheated on him and broke up with him. After breaking up with him, she repeatedly would yell and scream at him whenever she saw him in public; inevitably, this would end up traumatizing him. My brother is a grown man, now in his early twenties, but this was just pure demonic acts for her to do such to him. I began to resent her to the point where no human can call it resentment, I hated her. I wanted her to die. I see her regularly due to certain things, but when I do, it's not like I interact with her. No, I ignore the shit out of her. Whenever I see her, I get so pissed I'm ready to go at her and freaking kick her repeatedly. Anyways, since this traumatized my brother, he had to begin seeing a therapist since he had spiraled into depression and began having suicidal thoughts. This freaking pissed me off more. I know, none of it was my business, it still isn't, but if you're going to fuck up someone I love and is close to me, you come to me first so I can smack the shit out of you.

I know, I know, the cussing is getting a bit out of hand, but frankly, I'm pissed, upset, and freaking depressed.

My brother received therapy all throughout last year, and to the beginning of summer this year. This year, May 2013, my brother "fully recovered" and hates his ex-girlfriend…and he began seeing someone. It made me ecstatic that he allowed someone back into his heart. I was, of course, skeptical of this girl, she freaking screws with him I'll kill her. They dated for a while, and I finally relaxed, thinking she wasn't going to screw it.

I was, however, mistaken. A few weeks ago, I was informed that my brother and her broke up. I was like, "okay, he doesn't seem so bad about it, maybe it was a mutual feeling?" I was so freaking wrong. During a visit to my cousins, they told me that they had seen my brother's girlfriend around town with another man, FOUR months ago. When I came home, I asked my mother when exactly did my brother and her break up. My mother replied, "oh, long ago. Maybe about two months?" So, basically, she had been cheating on him for TWO WHOLE MONTHS. THIS FREAKING PISSED ME OFF BEYOND WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. She did _exactly_ what his previous girlfriend did.

I thought my brother was okay, I thought he was doing fine. But he was not. I knew it, my mother knew it, he knew it. You see, my brother is an amazing athlete. He was a star is so many sports. Then, he started having serious back issues. This brought his depression back. He was unable to work out and play sports. His back was getting that bad. He started going to the gym to "try" and work-out. In the beginning of October, on a sunday night, I was sitting in my room when my dad abruptly rushed out of his room into one of my other brother's room. He quickly told him to come with him in the car. I panicked.

Before my brother had left to the gym, I saw him leave. He was not right…he seemed really off. So when my dad and my other brother left, I constantly thought, "please, please, please, please let him be alright!" He wasn't… An hour later, I received a phone call from my mother. She was telling me to calm down as I repeatedly said "what happened?! What happened to him?!"

There was a long pause before she replied on the phone. I had been sitting in the living room with the two youngest siblings, a 10 year-old and a 2 year-old. Both of them started to cry since they could sense the worry in my voice. My mother finally replied after my heart felt like with each beat it was getting heavier.

"He overdosed on medicine at the gym… Dad and (my other brother's name) are with him right now. An ambulance was called and he's going to come to the emergency room. Your aunt will be at the house soon to pick you guys up and watch you."

My heart stopped. I could swear it.

After that of which, everyone in my family started having emotional break downs while my parents were at the hospital with my brother. He had been unconscious for 12 hours after overdosing. As everyone was breaking down, I had to be strong. I couldn't cry. My own mother told me not to. She told me I had to be the strong one in this, that I can't cry in front of anyone this time (as if I ever did when something like this happened). Little did anyone in my family know that at night I did not sleep, I was rolled up into a ball — crying. Crying for hours. I may have been told not to cry in front of anyone but I was never told I was not allowed to cry at all.

A week later, my brother came back from the hospital. His body movements were that of a 3 year-old, and it killed me. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't even be in the same room as him. When he first came home I ran to my room and started crying. Everyone, all my siblings, went to him and started crying in front of him; telling him how much they loved him and that they were afraid they were going to lose him. … And how do you think I felt about that? I couldn't cry in front of him — I didn't want to at the same time. Because, I love my brother enough to never inconvenience him like that. Never.

Naturally, days and weeks past and everything became normal. My brother recovered and nothing bad happened. We finally found out what was wrong with his back and he was given medicine to help with it. This was so relieving. But now, we're back to November. Earlier this November, my brother finally found out why she broke up with him in the first place (she never told him). She broke up with him because she was seeing another man, and she didn't even have the guts to say it to his face.

This caused him to spiral into depression once again. He had to start up on therapy again. His antidepressants weren't working either now. So…he decided to go on a little "vacation" out of state to visit some friends. He wasn't here to celebrate Thanksgiving with us…which made me worry. Worry that he might try pills again. To my dismay…

It happened again. My brother is in the hospital right now, and I'm an emotional wreck. I need to go now. Please don't be expecting me to write fanfics or respond to PMs or emails. I love you all.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Pokemon Franchise.


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